greatsmile

Ask me anything   Astri Mayasari. Indonesian. good listener.
day-dreamer. travel and mountaineering enthusiast.

twitter.com/achiw_453:

    aditversuspredator:

    storiesofthesahabah:

    I’m broken.

    and the tears kept falling that i’m racing with my own heart beat.

    It hurts, it hurts so much like it will never heal, it hurts, it hurts like the pain will never go, O Allaah it hurts, it hurts like the heart finds no way to beat anymore.

    O Allaah, there’s so much pain, O Allaah, help me, ease me, strengthen me, ya Allaah…

    ____

    Yes, my dear, I know it hurts more than words can describe.

    But you are not alone, every person goes through this transition, this heartache bears so many forms, colors and stories but all same when it penetrates a person, it goes beyond the soul.

    Sometimes Allaah Azza Wa Jall tests us on things we think we will never be able to cope up, but know Allaah Azza Wa Jall never intends for you hardship but ease.

    Na’am, it only hurts like that because you were holding a belief that was so strong that you gave into it more than you should have.

    You had someone you saw as the moon among the stars, a laugh among the smiles and a bearer of happiness…happiness, a happiness that was not meant for you.

    I know, We all understand how much pain losing the person we thought were ours.

    O you, whose heart has been crashed, you can keep your tears from us, but please do not keep it from the One Who Truly Loves you, The One Who Loves you more than any man could ever love you, One Who loves you more than your own parents.

    Cry to Allaah, please.

    Cry to Him, scream if you need to but please let it go, let your heart breathe, do not imprison it with the pain, call out Help, call out Help from the One whom you know will never leave you hanging, nor have left you for even a minute in your life.

    You can hide and no one in this world can know that pain you are going through, but you can never hide from Him, He sees and hears and knows everything…

    From the pain behind every Alhamdulillaah, I am okay, I will be okay, you are hurting, you have to accept that. It is painful, but see this as a blessing in which Allaah Azza Wa Jall gave you so that you can go run back to Him.

    Failure, pain, sorrow, grief, lost all these negative feelings give nothing to a person but a step closer to his betterment. There is pain in every blossoming beauty, to be able to have a potable water, it has to be filtered, it has to go through processes, and so are people. In order to be the best of what we are, we have to go into pain, failure, success everything, but only those who keep faith in Him can survive and pass these tests in flying colors.

    Sometimes we ask, how can a person bear so much pain?

    Good soul, know that it was destined for you, it was written for you that you walk along this path but not to crash you but to make you better, a process we all go through.

    When you are hurt, do not cry on the shoulders of others, but cry in sujood, people can tell you this and that to comfort you, but no words can ever comfort you like how the Words of Allaah Azza Wa Jall in the Qur’an can. People can lie to you to comfort you, but Allaah Azza Wa Jall holds every truth. You feel the pain, because Allaah Azza Wa Jall sends out Mercy for you. Behind every tear is a comfort, a rahma from him.

    No one can mend your heart but the One who created it. He has the medicine for everything, Allaah Azza Wa Jall gave even all the warnings, if not, then solution before the problem.

    Let me share to you one of my most favorite ayah from the Qur’aan, one that always and will always speak to you;

    "O you who believe! Guard your own souls, if you follow (right) guidance, no hurt can come to you from those who stray. The goal of you all is to Allaah: it is He that will show you the truth of all that you do." 5:105

    Subhan’Allaah. Yes, you got it, we fell into such depression into such pain because we chose to fall for that. There is no much to say, no need to blame, but right now all you need to do is cry it all out, empty the heart of pain and fill it with the remembrance of Allaah Azza Wa Jall.

    Read about the female companions of Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi wassalaam, imagine the pain of Fatimaah Radiyallahu Anha when she lost her father, the pain of Khansa Radiyallahu Anha when she lost three of his sons in jihad, the pain of Umm Salamah Radiyallahu Anha after the death of her husband, the pain of Saffiyah Bint Abdul Muttalib Radiyallahu Anha when she saw the body of her brother, Hamza Radiyallahu Anhu, slaughtered, or the pain of Zainab Radiyallahu Anha being separated from her husband.

    Is your pain even near to the pain they had?

    But these women, death, lost, heartache didn’t destroy them, but rather made them blossomed to become among the greatest women that ever walked in the fold of Islaam. Subhan’Allaah. These great women, no words can really described how beautiful they were, let us see them as the role models, let us learn from their sufferings, their struggles, how they were so patient in handling situations.

    When Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam lost Khadija Radiyallahu Anha he was in so much pain that only through seeing Allaah Azza Wa Jall became its remedy. Even he went through it, but He had Him and Allaah Azza Wa Jall is everything, He is everything we have. Wallahi, do not lose Allaah Azza Wa Jall, forsake everything but not Him. If you lose Him, you lose everything.

    Stay strong, stay strong, you are still breathing, you are still breathing, Alhamdulillaah. Alhamdulillaah. Alhamdulillaah. For every beat of your heart there is a rahma from Allaah Azza Wa Jall, so what is stopping you from repenting?

    Here we are, we came to the edge of everything, when He has given all the chances before this heartache can come, do not let everything fade before you come back to Him.

    This heartache will not break you, it will make you stronger, believe in Allaah Azza Wa Jall for He says He doesn’t burden the soul of something in which it cannot bear.

    This is another ticket back to Allaah Azza Wa Jall, so get it, ride and come back to Him. First few days will hurt because you are human, you feel pain, you struggle, but do not let it bring you down.

    Allaah Azza Wa Jall says in a Hadith Qudsi: “Neither My Earth nor My Heavens can contain Me, but the heart of a Believing Servant, can.”

    In another tradition, Allah says, “I am the Greatest, None is Greater than I! The Earth and Heavens cannot contain me (they were created as simple creatures without the capacity to contain the Maqam of Allah), so I granted upon human beings, the Heart (Qalb); it is but the size of a fist, you may see that the heart is so small, physically, but that physical heart is a symbolic creation representing the real Qalb that I have granted to My Deputies, no one understands about that real Heart, for that Heart of a Believing Servant can contain Me.”

    Subhan’Allaah. Yes, a heart of a believer has a capacity that has no limitations, unlimited, Alhamdulillaah.

    So do yourself a favor and heal your heart by crying in your sujood.

    Always remember, Allaah Azza Wa Jall loves you.
    _____

    And we pray that through our heartaches, our failures and all the endeavors we face we find His Guidance hovering upon us, that in His Mercy we also find the ease that we need in our hearts and that He grants us a mind and a heart that sees what is good in every situation so that we can bear every problem and trial with patience and tolerance along with our undying faith in Him.

    Amin

    — 4 days ago with 2130 notes
    halal-love-stories:

I Didn’t Love My Wife When We Got Married.

I’m a ridiculous, emotional, over-sentimental sap. I guess that’s why I told my wife I loved her on our second meeting.
I had tried really hard up to that point to hold it back, honestly. I wanted to tell her on the first meeting, but I knew that would probably be weird.
I still remember her reaction. She kind of gave me this half-shy, half-amused smile. Then she nodded and looked off into the sky.
I wasn’t heartbroken by the response. I think part of me recognized that she was much smarter and more modest than me.
But as time has gone on, I also realized that she knew something that I didn’t.
We both became religious later in life and our meeting period lasted a very short time. We were soon engaged and three months after that, we were married.
And that whole time I was swooning. This fire was burning in me, a fire that burned just like that second meeting: I was in love.
But then we got married, and everything changed.
Marriage, quicker than I was ready for, did this thing: it started sucking away that emotion.
I tried so hard to keep that fire going, to keep that emotion alight, but it got harder and harder.
I mean, how you can feel that burning love when you’re sitting at the table discussing how to use the last twenty dollars in your bank account?
How can you feel it when you get into an argument?
How can you feel it when you think it makes perfect sense to put your socks on the floor after you’re done with them, and she has this crazy idea that they need to go in the laundry basket?
There was no way I could keep that fire burning as practicality invaded our lives.
And at first, it drove me nuts! That emotion meant love! That excitement was how I knew I cared for her! But suddenly, life was this grind. Even when I was with her. Especially when I was with her.
And even worse, it seemed that the harder I tried to be sentimental and lovey-dovey, the less it was reciprocated.
But it wasn’t that she wasn’t giving me love, it just seemed to come at different times.
Like, when I offered to do the dishes. Or make dinner after she had a hard day. Or, once we had a daughter, when I shared the responsibility of watching over her.
I don’t think I noticed this consciously for a while. It just kept happening.
But I think it had an effect on me. Because as our marriage progressed, I found myself offering to help out around the house more and more.
And after each time, there would be this look she would give me. This look of absolute love. One that was soft and so beautiful.
It took me longer than I care to admit to understand what was happening.
But eventually it became clear. Through giving, through doing things for my wife, the emotion that I had been so desperately seeking naturally came about. It wasn’t something I could force, just something that would come about as a result of my giving.
In other words, it was in the practicality that I found the love I was looking for.
And what was even more interesting was that once I realized this on a conscious level, and started trying to find more opportunities to give, the more we both, almost intuitively, became lovey-dovey.
And now, as I’m a bit older and a bit more experienced with this relationship, I’ve finally come to realize something. Something I haven’t wanted to admit for a long time, but is undeniable.
I didn’t love my wife on that second meeting.
I didn’t love her when we got engaged.
I didn’t even love her when we got married.
Because love isn’t an emotion. That fire I felt, it was simply that: emotional fire. From the excitement of meeting a woman I felt like I could marry. But it wasn’t love.
No, love isn’t an emotion or even a noun. It’s a verb. Better defined as giving. As putting someone else’s needs above your own.
Why wasn’t I getting reciprocal lovey-doveyness when we were first married? Because it wasn’t for her. It was for me. An emotion I had in my chest.
And even when I let it out of my chest, it wasn’t love.
Being sappy isn’t love. Telling someone you love them doesn’t mean that you do.
And that’s why my wife just gave me that half-smile. She knew, even if I didn’t, what love really is.
And now that I’ve tried to change the way I look at love, the more I become shocked at the messages of love I had gotten when I was younger.
From Disney movies to my favorite shows like “The Office” to practically every pop song released, love is constantly sold as an emotion we have before we’re married. An emotion that, once had, somehow magically stays within a marriage forever.
I can’t imagine a bigger lie. And I’m saddened to think about how much those messages bounced around in my head for so long. And how much I’m sure those messages are bouncing around in other people’s heads as well.
I think that might be a big part of the reason the divorce rate is so high in this country. Imagine a whole nation of people constantly chasing the emotions they had when they were dating. A country of people trying to live a Disney movie.
That’s a recipe for disastrous marriages; for a country with a 50% divorce rate; for adultery (the classic attempt to turn the fire back on); for people who do stay together to simply live functional, loveless marriages.
It’s sad to see just how common all the above is. How many people are in pain simply because they’ve been lied to.
Those people deserve better. We all deserve better.
It’s time that we changed the conversation about love. It’s time that we redefine it.
Because until we do, adultery will continue to be common. Loveless marriages.  Divorce.
Living Disney movies in our minds, and tragedies in our lives

    halal-love-stories:

    I Didn’t Love My Wife When We Got Married.

    I’m a ridiculous, emotional, over-sentimental sap. I guess that’s why I told my wife I loved her on our second meeting.

    I had tried really hard up to that point to hold it back, honestly. I wanted to tell her on the first meeting, but I knew that would probably be weird.

    I still remember her reaction. She kind of gave me this half-shy, half-amused smile. Then she nodded and looked off into the sky.

    I wasn’t heartbroken by the response. I think part of me recognized that she was much smarter and more modest than me.

    But as time has gone on, I also realized that she knew something that I didn’t.

    We both became religious later in life and our meeting period lasted a very short time. We were soon engaged and three months after that, we were married.

    And that whole time I was swooning. This fire was burning in me, a fire that burned just like that second meeting: I was in love.

    But then we got married, and everything changed.

    Marriage, quicker than I was ready for, did this thing: it started sucking away that emotion.

    I tried so hard to keep that fire going, to keep that emotion alight, but it got harder and harder.

    I mean, how you can feel that burning love when you’re sitting at the table discussing how to use the last twenty dollars in your bank account?

    How can you feel it when you get into an argument?

    How can you feel it when you think it makes perfect sense to put your socks on the floor after you’re done with them, and she has this crazy idea that they need to go in the laundry basket?

    There was no way I could keep that fire burning as practicality invaded our lives.

    And at first, it drove me nuts! That emotion meant love! That excitement was how I knew I cared for her! But suddenly, life was this grind. Even when I was with her. Especially when I was with her.

    And even worse, it seemed that the harder I tried to be sentimental and lovey-dovey, the less it was reciprocated.

    But it wasn’t that she wasn’t giving me love, it just seemed to come at different times.

    Like, when I offered to do the dishes. Or make dinner after she had a hard day. Or, once we had a daughter, when I shared the responsibility of watching over her.

    I don’t think I noticed this consciously for a while. It just kept happening.

    But I think it had an effect on me. Because as our marriage progressed, I found myself offering to help out around the house more and more.

    And after each time, there would be this look she would give me. This look of absolute love. One that was soft and so beautiful.

    It took me longer than I care to admit to understand what was happening.

    But eventually it became clear. Through giving, through doing things for my wife, the emotion that I had been so desperately seeking naturally came about. It wasn’t something I could force, just something that would come about as a result of my giving.

    In other words, it was in the practicality that I found the love I was looking for.

    And what was even more interesting was that once I realized this on a conscious level, and started trying to find more opportunities to give, the more we both, almost intuitively, became lovey-dovey.

    And now, as I’m a bit older and a bit more experienced with this relationship, I’ve finally come to realize something. Something I haven’t wanted to admit for a long time, but is undeniable.

    I didn’t love my wife on that second meeting.

    I didn’t love her when we got engaged.

    I didn’t even love her when we got married.

    Because love isn’t an emotion. That fire I felt, it was simply that: emotional fire. From the excitement of meeting a woman I felt like I could marry. But it wasn’t love.

    No, love isn’t an emotion or even a noun. It’s a verb. Better defined as giving. As putting someone else’s needs above your own.

    Why wasn’t I getting reciprocal lovey-doveyness when we were first married? Because it wasn’t for her. It was for me. An emotion I had in my chest.

    And even when I let it out of my chest, it wasn’t love.

    Being sappy isn’t love. Telling someone you love them doesn’t mean that you do.

    And that’s why my wife just gave me that half-smile. She knew, even if I didn’t, what love really is.

    And now that I’ve tried to change the way I look at love, the more I become shocked at the messages of love I had gotten when I was younger.

    From Disney movies to my favorite shows like “The Office” to practically every pop song released, love is constantly sold as an emotion we have before we’re married. An emotion that, once had, somehow magically stays within a marriage forever.

    I can’t imagine a bigger lie. And I’m saddened to think about how much those messages bounced around in my head for so long. And how much I’m sure those messages are bouncing around in other people’s heads as well.

    I think that might be a big part of the reason the divorce rate is so high in this country. Imagine a whole nation of people constantly chasing the emotions they had when they were dating. A country of people trying to live a Disney movie.

    That’s a recipe for disastrous marriages; for a country with a 50% divorce rate; for adultery (the classic attempt to turn the fire back on); for people who do stay together to simply live functional, loveless marriages.

    It’s sad to see just how common all the above is. How many people are in pain simply because they’ve been lied to.

    Those people deserve better. We all deserve better.

    It’s time that we changed the conversation about love. It’s time that we redefine it.

    Because until we do, adultery will continue to be common. Loveless marriages.  Divorce.

    Living Disney movies in our minds, and tragedies in our lives

    (Source: popchassid.com, via nareswarii)

    — 6 days ago with 823 notes
    "The bigger desire you have for a sin, the greater your Imaan is if you leave it."
    Sheikh Ibn Uthaymeen (via halal-love-stories)
    — 1 week ago with 958 notes
    tetyyuniarti:

noted!!

hahahhaay indeed!

    tetyyuniarti:

    noted!!

    hahahhaay indeed!

    (Source: sitaelanda)

    — 1 week ago with 32 notes
    Menuju Langit Andalas, Meniti Atap Sumatera, 3805Mdpl ( part 1 )

    Okay, sebenernya saya males tulis-menulis cerita perjalanan. Lebih seneng sharing sambil ngobrol, wasapan, haha hihi, atau ngopiin itin ke orang2 yang emang rikues, kan lebih santei gituh. Tapi kali ini atas rikuesan beberapa kengkawan, saya coba nulis deh perjalanan epic awal tahun ini *hahay awal taun ini emang super dhuaaaar moment yah dari mulai babdhzbhabsbknzbwbjbajhabhceka problem……. *ahyasudahlah , seminar 2 skripsi, dan bulan februari nya sidang.

    Sebenernya sih akhir januari 2014 tuh planning mbolang ke makassar, toraja, bira, dan itin nya udah mantep , tinggal berangkat. Tiket udah ada aja dari jauh hari, hasil buruan air-asia promo midnight. Kalo gajadi sayang, kapan lagi ke makassar pake tiket PP 10 rebu perak ( setelah tiket PP 10 rebu perak jkt-semarang gajadi dipake ke karjaw -.-“ ). Yaaa sama ini itu 90 rebu perak pp, deminya ke bandung naek trans aja 85rebu sebalikan -.- *itulah yang menyebabkan saya lebih milih mbolang daripada bolak-balik bandung tiap minggu yang nyatanya ongkos pp nya sama aja kayak pp ke jawa sono naek kereta ekonomi *mentalekonomis gamaurugi.

    H-1 bulan, kengkawan saya yang dua ituh masih ragu entah males atau entah belom mood buat cuss makassar. Akibat pada gak mood, akhirnya rungsing sendiri gituh lah, jadi ikutan ga mood, padahal itin….ahyasudahlah. Sampe gilanya, ceu nunu malah ngajakin buat ke kerinci. Apah????? KERINCI!!!! Apah??? Anjiiiir! KERINCI! GILAK!. Ajakan menggiurkan disaat butuh udara gunung, tapi banyak tapinyah! Secara tuh kerinci akhir januari, kan kita mau ke makasar keleus -.- kemudian saya mah masih istiqomah mempertahankan makassar trip hazek! tapi sambil googling cara ke kerinci failed =.=. Pada dasarnya, hasrat pengen nanjak saya emang lebih gede sejuta kali dari mbolang2 kesana kemari, akhirnya saya jadi mikirin si kerinci ini, demmm. Terus, abis mikir resiko a-z, pelajarin ini itu, googling sampe siwer ini udah hobi keknya, saya memutuskan deal ikut kerinci failedfailedfailed.

    Musyawarah sama ceununu menemukan banyak keraguan, hahay. Mulai dari “tanggal segitu urang dapet ga yah?” “Trek nya gimana ciw?” “eleuh habitat harimau sumatra” “oh iya mas xxx di kantor nikahan, masa urang ga dateng” dan blablablablabla. Makin sini kesini malah cenunu yang ngajakin yang ga yakin =.= hobah, selalu begituh. Tapi akhirnya mufakat untuk deal ikut mamang tunop ke kerinci. GILAK!

    Terus nunu laporan ke si mamang via email kalo kita ikut kerinci. Yakali si mamang yang notabene nya belom pernah nanjak bareng kita, tapi pernah ngospek kita, merasa reuwas. Pertanyaan “beneran kalian mau ikut” terus ditanyain, mastiin. Akhirnya dibikin deh grup wasap kerinci.

    Alhasil, setelah perundingan panjang, team yang mau nanjak kerinci terdiri dari 6 orang anak himatel hazek!, termasuk saya. Dengan kombinasi 4 cowo, 2 cewe yang didalamnya terdapat 1 pendaki senior karena paling tuwir dan jam terbangnya paling banyak , 1 sibolang entah pernah nanjak entah kaga dah tapi anaknya semodel anak utan, 3 amatiran yang track record nanjak nya baru dikit, 1 lagi belom pernah nanjak sama sekali!

    Jumat, 24 januari 2014

    Abis kabur dari kantor, mandi, cek packingan, akhirnya saya, nunu, mamang, dan kang asep cuss bandara dan flight ke padang. Sedangkan parit flight ke padang duluan dari bandung, dan birong langsung ke kersik tuo dari palembang.

    Jam 9 an travel padang – kersik tuo udah nangkring manis di bandara. Selama perjalanan padang – kersik tuo, dapet berita gak asik, birong ga kebagian travel ke kersik tuo malem itu juga! Demmmm secara tenda dua-duanya dia yang pegang =.=’. Alhasil kita puter otak ubah jadwal. Akhirnya kita memutuskan untuk gak langsung nanjak, nunggu birong dateng, sementara kita bakalan ngecamp cantik dulu di danau gunung tujuh. Pake tenda siapa? Ya siapa aja orang basecamp kayuaro yang berbaik hati minjemin tenda deh.

    Padang – kersik tuo lumayan makan waktu 6 jam, dengan kecepatan sopir lintas sumatra tau lah yah dan diiringi sontrek tausyiah Alm. UJE subhanalloh.

    Sabtu, 25 Januari 2014

    Jam 3 pagi sampelah kita di basecamp kayu aro, istirahat tidur bentar, solat, tidur lagi. Paginya kita packing ulang barang yang mau dibawa buat kemping cantik di danau gunung tujuh * dan Cuma kebagian bawa tas kamera doang, ngahahahha.

    Treking ke danau gunung tujuh ditemenin track gps doang, kurang lebih 2,5 – 3 jam treking sampe deh di danau gunung tujuh, danau tertinggi di asia tenggara, subhanalloh!

    Ke danau gunung tujuh banyaknya yang tek-tok, pagi pergi sorean pulang lagi. Kita sih mau nikmatin bakar-bakar sosis di pinggir danau plus mau nyunrise, jadi ngecamp. Cuma ada 2-3 tenda doang yang camp di danau gunung tujuh, asoy bener, gak rame kayak di pasar, alhamdulillah yah.

    Taunya sosis sama bakso yang mau kita bakar-bakar ga kebawa dong!!! Demmmm di kerilnya nunu di basecamp! Okeh -.- gagal. Sorenya kita nyruput mie kari ayam paling enak sedunia, malemnya kita masak2 kece lagi. Demi keberhasilan summit nanti, kita yasinan dan berdoa bareng di tenda ini epic dan mengharukan yah, subhanalloh sekali. Malemnya tidur nya pules bener, gak terlalu dingin di danau gunung tujuh, padahal udah di ketinggian sekitar 2000 mdpl kalo gasalah.

    bersambung….

    *** Photo by M. Toenof Abdulghani & Asep Ridwan, all rights reserved

    — 1 week ago with 1 note
    #catper  #kerinci  #pendakian  #travel  #hiking  #indonesia 
    "jangan naik gunung!!!!!
    kecuali…….
    kamu udah ga ngerti lagi harus berbuat apa pas lagi sakau sama yang ijo-ijo, udah berteriak histeris sampe nangis dan melelehkan airmata pas liat youtube berisi orang-orang lagi gelindingan di surya kencana, atau di ranu kumbolo atau di segara anakan atau di oro-oro ombo, kaki udah mulai pegel banget karena duduk mulu di kantor, di kelas, di mall, di hati pacar, bawaannya gemesh gitu pengen ngelangkah di atas bebatuan, akar pepohonan, atau rawa-rawa-jadi-jadian"
    acen trisusanto, www.jalanpendaki.com
    — 1 week ago